Christmas

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

May 27

This is it. Part of me says, "It is about time!" The other part of me says, "Wait! I need more time!" I need more time to tell those sweet ones that I love them. I need more time to write individual letters to my babies and tell them how much I love them. How much their humor, sweet smiles, little hugs, adorable pictures and musical laughter has melted my heart. How do you write all of that inside of a simple card?
 
 
There simply isn't a card large enough.
 
How do you thank people and tell them goodbye when they have no idea how they have impacted your life?
 
Am I ready?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Maybe?
 
Am I ready to leave the heat of the south? YES!
Am I ready to leave the little ones who have been such a huge part of my life? No.
Am I ready for the next big adventure? YES!
Am I ready to leave the friends that I have? No.
 
I won't mention my littles by name, but...hopefully if you are reading this, you are a parent and can ask them which one of the below is theirs.

Before I write to them, I must write to you parents. This year was quite possibly one of the best years in the classroom. Please understand, every year is very special and I in no way want to leave the impression that I did not appreciate and cherish each little one in my room from years past. However, God smiled on me this year more than I ever could have imagined. In His infinite wisdom and as only God can do with His sense of humor, He saw fit to put my personality in the room. It took 4 little ones to make my personality. (Momma, I am so sorry! To haev all of these personalities in ONE body blows my mind! You truly are a "modern day Mother Theresa!")Those of you that I have spoken with, I am sure you are smiling and maybe laughing a touch. My personality is exceptionally strong - to a fault, loves to tease and push things to the edge - just to see how far I can push sometimes, looks for the good in all things - to the extent I've been accused of living in the land of fairies and unicorns, and loves to mother everyone and tell them how things should best be done. If you have a little one who fits that, know that God will eventually allow them to experience their gift through others. There were many many times this past year that my own mother would giggle, smile and tell me she completely understood what I was going through. "I promise you, Elizabeth, when you were growing up I knew I had to be looking at the backside of a gift." Now, I am not perfect. But please know your little ones take all the lessons to heart that you are trying to teach them. It showed in the classroom everyday. Every class I have ever been in has had a wonderful heart. They have always tried to make sure that every buddy was taken care of. This is the first time that I have been able to experience a classroom where classmates would purposefully share test answers and more simply so that a buddy would not do poorly on a test. You have a very sweet bunch of littles here and I hope you truly understand just how blessed you are to have them. I certainly can tell you this end of the year is a first. At the end of every year, I have felt sad to see my babies grow up. However, this is the first time I have truly felt almost sick to my stomach at the thought of letting them go. They have been the joy in my week. They have been the rock that held me up through some tough times. I knew without a doubt that these babies would make me smile, hug me tight and do it all with a selflessness that puts us adults to shame. Thank you for entrusting their education to me. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of their lives. There is not another class of students in the world that can hold a candle to how precious these little ones are.

And now, for you dear students. Find your number. I couldn't write actual cards to you. I tried. My tears spilled over on them.
 
1. Never lose your zeal for life! You are precious and perfect the way that you are. Never let anyone tell you to chill out. Your heart is a very precious heart and you need to keep sharing it with everyone.
 
2. Stay strong, sweetheart! Keep your tenacity. Never be afraid to let your light shine! You are going to do great things one day! Part 1 of 4 parts of my personality!
 
3. Remember your heart! You have the gift of seeing the good in people. Always remember to keep focusing on the good. =) You are stronger than you realize and I am so excited to see where life takes you!
 
4. You have a keen ability to sense how others are doing. That sensitivity will serve you well if you remember to always focus on the good things in life. I have truly enjoyed seeing you learn and grow this year!

5. Oh dear, your sparkle and zest will brighten any place that life takes you! Never, never, never let anyone or anything take that from you! Your infectious laugh and precious smile will win the hearts of all who come near you! Part 2 of the 4 parts of my personality =)

6. My dear, remember that throughout life's storms, God's love never fails. He sees you when you are helping classmates who are hurting. He sees you when you give hugs without someone asking. Stay true to His truth, and you will do great things in this life!

7. Dear one, keep bringing life and laughter with you! You are a hard working and incredibly smart young man! I know that God has great plans for your life. Keep striving for excellence!

8. Man, you have a smile and spirit that will win everyone you meet. You have a tender heart that is made of pure gold! I truly enjoyed watching you  as you patiently worked with buddies to help them understand. One of your greatest strengths is your ability to steer others to what is right! God is going to do great things in your life!

9. Little Momma of Room 5. You have a precious, precious smile and heart! Part 3 of the 4 of my personality! Your heart is to take care of everyone and I love that about you! You are such a hard working little lady. I know your momma and daddy are so very proud of you! Stay strong and remember to breathe! You will do fabulously!

10. You, sweet one, are incredible! This year has been so great watching you learn, grow, take on challenges, overcome mountains that I wasn't even sure you could take on! Your family and I are all SO proud of how hard you work, how tender you are to those around you and also how you hold everyone to the standard! Part 4 of 4 of my personality. Don't let anyone dampen your sweet spirit!

11. I almost am not sure what to write for you. From the moment you walked in Room 5, I knew you were a special little one - well, you aren't really little any more...are you? You have a work ethic that puts many adults to shame. You strive to complete tasks to the best of your ability. Despite all of the chaos of this world, you have met and exceeded my expectations! I am so excited to see what God holds for your future!

12. Your bright smile and sweet laughter brightened Room 5! From the moment you came in, you brought joy and laughter! Remember your heart and don't let anyone deter you from showing your love and responsibility. You worked so hard to rise above, and honey, you did!

13. We didn't have long together. I wish we would have! You are so sweet and precious! Stay focused and I know that you will do great things! Your heart is to take care of those around you, and that is incredibly valuable in this day!

14. We also did not have long together. The greatest memory I have of our time together was a Thursday afternoon. You had no idea what was going on, no clue of the hard news I had received. However, you sensed my need for joy and laughter. It took .2 seconds before you made a bizarre face and some crazy noise that was so shocking it sent us all into fits of laughter! You don't know this, but that laughter is exactly what my heart needed. Thank you. Thank you for bringing laughter in that moment!

To all 14 of you, I am SO proud of you! You have no idea how much I love and how proud I am of ALL of you! It breaks my heart to leave you, but I am SO very excited to follow your journey (via Facebook, etc.) as you grow. Always strive to do your best! Do not let anything dampen your spirits! You are the best bunch of Firsties that Trinity has ever seen! I love you!

I went into work today so sure I would stay strong. Nothing would make me cry. I made it until 11am. Thank you, dear Room 5, for breaking me. Your precious gift is the most amazing gift. Dear Parents, please know that I have treasured your little ones and appreciate all that you have done more than you will ever know. These littles will go far simply because you are all so invested in them! 
 
I love moving. I love going to new places. The biggest thing I am not ready for, will never be ready for, is sending off my Kyle & Abby. It is hands down the most difficult thing in the world for me.
PLEASE understand, I don't fear for their safety at all.
But I only want maybe a day or just a few hours for a break. I don't want 7 weeks. This is the most difficult part of being a bonus parent, step parent, whatever you want to call it. However, they are technically not my jurisdiction and they do need to spend time with the other part of their family. I can't be selfish. Definitely want to be, though!

All of this to say, summer is here.
Enjoy your carefree days!
And if you don't get a summer break, enjoy your carefree moments!
The journey of a lifetime awaits!
(that sounds like something from a movie)

Monday, May 25, 2015

procrastination

If I close my eyes, it will all go away - right? That's what I believed as a child. Christ says to believe like a child, so I believe that it will all get done if I just close my eyes for a few moments.

ha!

Yeah, I wish. Stressing isn't getting it done. I need to take it all just one step at a time. My problem is, I take a step then remember 15 other steps that must also get done. Delegate? To whom? There's no one to delegate to! Kaden & Frank are ridiculously selfish and absolutely refuse to do anything other than take up space and require a lot of attention. The kids? They leave the day after tomorrow.

So rather than work on that stuff, I will sit here and type to you. They say writing can release the same amount of endorphins as exercising. I exercised this morning, will exercise a bit more tonight AND am writing. I should be higher than a kite on endorphins by tomorrow morning!

Tomorrow....the last full day with my sweet firsties. I can't tell you how much I love and will miss those sweet babies! They have been the highlight and happy thought in what was one of the most difficult school years! Well, maybe not the most difficult. Last school year I had to deal with stents, surgery, a colonoscopy and 27 firsties (all of whom I LOVE and miss!) But this past year, or rather, the year we are finishing now was different. Stephen was gone essentially from July 19 to the night before Thanksgiving. He has been to schools, dry docks and long river runs this semester. It will be SO nice to get up to NY and have him home each night! Will I get on his nerves? Most likely.  Will he more than likely TRY to find a reason to be outside while it is warm? Yes. I don't care though. I am ready to have my Bestie with me full time. We move in just a couple of weeks (YIKES!) and will have until mid-July to put the house in order before the kids arrive. I also need to find a job. YIKES!

"It will all get done." at least that is what everyone says. Which, it is true. Everything will get done. But I want it done in a semi-orderly manner (see previous and possibly unfinished post.) Prayers appreciated and welcomed. With that...I am signing off. You have helped me to relax and remember God has this. I can preach it to my children and now must take it to heart in my own life. Yay. Lol. Love yas!

chaotic order

God is a god of ORDER.
Right?
So, why does everything always seem chaotic?!

Oh, wait...
That's because I get impatient. I rush. I want my way. I want it now. Not later. Sounds mature, right? In April, I had my last lasix scan while in NOLA.
Did I trust God to put things in order and take care of us?
Nope.
Did He take care of it?
Yes.
We found out we weren't going to be able to go house shopping.
Did I trust God to supply a house?
Not 100%.
Has He taken care of it?
Yes.

That's just the last month! God is taking care of things EVERY DAY!
Can I just tell you??? Good! Thanks =)
For my birthday, all I wanted for us to be together and have fun OUTSIDE. It's May 1, surely that would be a possibility. Life happened. I stressed. I steamed. I stewed.
God provided.
Stephen & I were able to enjoy a FABULOUS time on the lake while the kids were in school.
Saturday we, all 6 of us, went hiking at a beautiful park not too far from the house.
It was fabulous! We were all SO exhausted that even the puppies weren't very active the next day!
House hunting has been in all of our minds. As previously stated, it isn't an option before June. Stephen has been earnestly searching for something that would meet our family's needs. We finally had a few minutes to sit together. I was fearful as this tends to be a stressful subject. He pulled up a site that helps military families find rentals. Stephen pulled up his first pick. I doubted we would get it. The home was gorgeous. Landlords had taken good care of the property, there was a pool, two FULL bathrooms (you never know how much you love that until you don't have it for 3.5 years) three bedrooms with HUGE closets, a fenced in backyard, 2 car garage, fire pit in the backyard and an extra storage room.

We  made contact. Long story short, we mailed the signed lease & deposit today. We are THRILLED! Both kids are excited too.

Hopefully, I will get it together and just Let it go!
Let go____________
the need to pack the kids for summer in AR
the need to pack up my classroom
the need to go through all of my school supplies and purge all but the necessities
the need to go through all of my clothes are purge what I don't wear
the need to pack up the bare necessities to live in a house until our things arrive
the need to organize everything before the packers put it all in boxes
the need to get all of our mail switched over to our new address
the need to get EVERYTHING done before we leave and potentially flying solo
_____________, and let God.

He will handle it. He has handled everything up to this point. All of these little things  are just that - little things. Let it go, Elizabeth! All of these little things will get done and they will get done on time. It always does. I don't need to stress. 

Something super cute that I have noticed lately is this. You see, I love lists and all things organizational. I make lists, post lists, buy lists...create colorful lists, alphabetized lists, prioritized lists, exercise lists, food lists, cleanings lists, lists, lists, lists!

Kyle & Abby are now proudly telling me they have made this list or that list.

LOOOOOOOOVE it!!!!!! =)